Treating Gratitude As A Habit
The universe will give you what you send which is why you should treat gratitude as a habit. If you are selfish or mean to others, you will be paid back with unwanted circumstances. It’s why people constantly use the phrase, “what goes around, comes around.”
When you project gratitude, the universe will pay you back in a positive manner. You will appreciate what you have, and it will set the stage for the universe to give you even more.
But, we live in a highly negative world. This makes it easy to revert to having negative thoughts. You may believe those negative thoughts are your own, so the universe won’t be able to find out you’ve been thinking them. However, thoughts produce energy, so there is no hiding. Energy, whether it is positive or negative, will be projected.
You need to make gratitude become a natural part of your life, something that you think without effort. The best way to do that is to make it a habit. You will need to consciously repel the thoughts of people who introduce negativity into your life. This includes news, social media, and interacting in social settings.
Unfortunately, you cannot avoid altogether people who are negative. You can try to turn them around to being grateful, but you need to start with yourself. You’ll make little progress if you are constantly negative.
Try to develop a filter within yourself that keeps you from reacting when people say something negative. The easy way out is to join in the fray. You will hear it, but the filter will deflect what has been said. This requires you to let things go.
It’s difficult because we’ve been conditioned since we were children to accept negativity. While parents are well-meaning and want the best for their kids, when they are negative, the kids will pick up on this emotion.
When you condition yourself to be grateful constantly, this becomes the needed filter to keep negativity at bay. But, it can be fleeting without constant practice and reinforcement. Start by making a list of everything you are grateful for. Then, each day, state out loud the items on that list. Feel free to add to the list.
The reinforcement of gratefulness will make it a part of your personality over time. People will appreciate it, even if subtly. It will make them drawn to you, and they may not know exactly the reasons why. But, you can be sure that it has much to do with your newfound grateful habit.
The Power Of Letting Go
We tend to latch on to the familiar, even if there is pain involved in doing so. This can keep us involved with unhealthy situations for too long. Sometimes, we need to learn how to let go.
It could be a personal relationship that is holding you back. You feel guilty in severing ties with the person or people involved because you have been in the situation for a long time. This could refer to a lover, a friend, or even family members. These people become dependent on you in ways that prevent you from living the life you truly want. Clearly, this is not ideal.
It can be a situation with work as well. Either the people you work with or the company itself is holding you back. You stick with it because you believe it’s the only option you have, even if it is making you miserable.
If you need to let go of situations or people who are holding you back, write out a list of pros and cons about the situations. If you find the cons are overwhelming, this should be enough to convince you it’s time for a change.
Change is a difficult concept for many of us to handle. It is the one aspect of life that will always be there. Why not embrace it for the better? It brings to mind the saying, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
One example of a situation that people have a difficult time removing themselves from is when hiring friends for your business. There are certain expectations that the friend assumes with the working relationship which can make the situation awkward. The person who hired the friend may need to take actions that may affect the friendship. This is why employment experts discourage the practice. It’s usually not a good idea to hire friends or to even go into business with them. The friendships are at risk under these circumstances.
Letting go is never easy, but it can be an incredibly freeing experience. It gives you the ability to start living life on your terms. It may not be a popular decision and in some cases (as with family) you won’t be able to break completely away, but it can help you achieve the happiness you desire. By taking appropriate actions, you will often find the people who were dependent on you actually become happier themselves through your actions.
Forgiveness Leads To Inner Peace
One of your coworkers did something that really gets under your skin. You focus so intently on it that you can’t even get your work done. On your way home, you find yourself irritable to the point you snap at anyone who says anything to you, even if what they say has nothing to do with the situation. You get home, and all your family members know to stay as far away as possible because of the mood you are in.
There are a lot of people on this planet. So many in fact, that at least a few of them are going to do things you don’t like. The crazy part about this is, you are the one with the problem. They will continue to go on about their lives. People keep these kinds of things bottled up for days and even weeks. When this happens, there is no inner peace.
Try the following experiment. The next time someone cuts you off while driving, imagine they are on their way to an emergency at the hospital. If you looked at it from that perspective, can you blame them for driving the way they did? How do you think you will feel if you imagine this scenario? It will be more of a feeling of peace than tension.
When you are dealing with your coworker who has done something you don’t agree with, can you put yourself in their situation? Try to see what motivated them to act in that manner. If nothing else, forgive them and see what that does for your inner peace.
When you genuinely forgive people, you will let go of the anger and tense feelings towards them. They no longer have the power over you that they had when those feelings welled up inside of you. Of course, you can’t pretend to forgive them only to still be angry at them. You need to truly let it go, which is not easy for most people to do.
If you find it difficult to forgive people, keep in mind that you lose control of your emotions. As mentioned, it becomes your problem more than theirs. Step away from the situation and return to it when you are more self-composed. Play some high-intensity sports or do activities that will get your mind off of the situation.
After you have calmed down, you will be in a better position to look at the situation differently.
Don’t Live with Regrets
Everyone is going to have some regrets. You may have made a mistake with your career, or you passed on “the one who got away.” Whatever it may be, there is nothing that can be done about those regrets. So move on.
Although there seems to be a discrepancy of the exact passage, Buddhists believe that you should not dwell on the past, nor should you dream about the future. The idea is live in the present. To do that, you need to let go of the past. While some people believe you should plan for the future, you should not focus on this alone. You need to live your life.
Many people get stuck in the past, and it can cripple them from living a quality life. They continue to bring up events that have happened, and some even use it as an excuse to feel sorry for themselves. When this happens, they will not progress in their lives. It can get so bad they even start to take on negative behaviors such as heavy alcohol use or drugs. Once this happens, it can be difficult to break this habit.
If someone close to you passes on and you have regrets about your life together, realize they would want you to move on. They aren’t coming back. Instead of thinking about those regrets, think about the good times you shared. Then, try to get to a point where you can move on. It will take time. You have the right to be happy again. But, focusing on the regrets will prevent you from getting there.
It is okay to reflect on regrets and determine what you did wrong. This can help you not to repeat what you have done. The key is not to make the regrets the central part of your life. Don’t let them define you. Recognize the wrongs and apologize for them, even if to yourself. Then, chart out a course that puts you on the path to happiness.
If you find yourself still struggling with your regrets, try to use affirmations to break free of them. Come up with messages to yourself that are of the form, “no regrets.” Keep saying these message as this will help you shape your conscious around them. This too will take some time, and you need to be consistent. Don’t worry too much if you revert to your regrets from time-to-time. Just pick up with those affirmations after that happens.
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