Do you want to know how to be more charismatic? Try listening more. People tend to be self-absorbed and are constantly thinking about themselves. While you need to think about yourself, it’s also important to be mindful of others. The biggest way you can do that is to learn to be a better listener.
Listening requires concentration, at least, if you are not used to doing it. It also takes practice. When you are having a conversation with someone, do you find yourself thinking about what you’re going to say next? If so, it’s very difficult to listen under that circumstance. You need to clear your mind and focus on what the person is saying.
It’s understandable why people get distracted. There is a lot going on in life. When you go to work, you have to deal with all kinds of situations. Orders go wrong. Computers break down, etc. Then, you go home and have another set of situations that you may have to worry about. One of your kids is failing math or the boiler is on the fritz, etc. Listening to others is probably the last thing you concern yourself with.
The benefits of listening will make it worth it to you as people will know (at least subconsciously) when you are doing it and appreciate it. They will feel the connection and want to spend more time with you. They will sense that you are taking notice of what they have to say. It all starts with listening.
Listening doesn’t mean you have to respond, in fact, sometimes all people need is to get something off their chests. Giving advice is not always a good idea, especially if you are not familiar with the situation or don’t have the expertise. Again, it’s all about hearing what others are talking about and showing empathy when needed.
It also doesn’t require you to unconditionally agree with what is being said. But it’s important to at least hear the message. When you feel you are in the right and can offer your opinion on whatever the subject may be, then you should do so but in a tactful and respectful manner.
Listening is a skill that can be mastered. It takes time and a commitment. What you will find when you put forth the effort is that people may start approaching you more often because you have taken the first steps to being more charismatic.
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